


Bottled Memories (Larry Stylinson AU)

by kisslouyoufool



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: F/M, Fake Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Memory Loss, Sad Harry, Sad Larry, basically how they were during x factor, larry stylinson - Freeform, lots and lots of fluff, sad!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3964951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisslouyoufool/pseuds/kisslouyoufool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Harry and Louis decide to take a huge step in their relationship at a New Years Eve party everything goes wrong and Harry isn't sure if he's ever going to get used to the empty spot in the bed.</p><p> </p><p>OR Harry and Louis get in a car accident after making a new years resolution to come out. Louis loses his memory and management forces Harry and the others to keep Harry and Louis' relationship a secret from Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I've been wanting to write this for a really long time. This is just kind of a dramatic introduction chapter, but I hope you like it!

Harry can't stand it any longer. After years of being separated from his boyfriend he decides he’s tired of living a lie. Watching couples all around him being able to freely kiss whoever they please makes Harry furious, honestly. Why were they allowed to hold each other and make stupid promises with each other in public, but not him? It doesn’t make sense to him and quite frankly, he doesn't care what others think anymore.

He steps outside, away from the party and calls Louis to ask where he is. He's ready. He's ready to hold Louis and touch him and be able to simply speak to him without being scolded by anybody. He's finally going to be free from the chains of the harsh commitment he had dumbly agreed to.

He thinks about how great life for him and Louis will be. He thinks about how him and Louis can finally have a big wedding with their families and friends. How he'll be able to introduce Louis as his husband and take him on fancy dates and vacations because after years of having secret dates and being forced to stay in even just going to dinner is like winning the lottery. Harry thinks about how being free will feel when Louis answers.

"Harry?" Louis says, still sending shivers down Harry's spine, even though he's heard him say it a million times.

"Lou? I can't take this anymore. I need to be able to touch you and talk to you and simply be able to be _around_ you. Please, I can't keep this a secret anymore." Harry admitted, voice quivering.

"I know, Haz. Honestly, I hate even going out in public now because I know when I do I can't be with you and it kills me." Louis tells him. There's a pause and Louis asks, "Where are you? I hate being at the same party and not seeing you."

"M'outside," Harry replies,"in the back. There's no one here."

"Okay, I'm upstairs, I'll be right down. Love you." Louis says, hanging up. Harry sits down on a bench under a tree that reminds him of christmas and how Louis always gets him a a present with a card that says,"All I want for christmas is your cute butt. Obviously. Merry Christmas!”

Harry is still thinking of Louis as he walks out of the back door, a smile spreading on his face as soon as he sports Harry,”I’ve missed you so much.” He tells him.

“Me too,” Harry replies,”with all the publicity stuff we’ve had to do lately I feel like we haven’t gotten to _really_ see each other lately.”

“I’m so over all the hiding. Honestly, fuck what management says do they really think we’re gonna lose fans over this? Like nobody gives a shit who we date. Even if we do lose fans I mean who cares? I pick you over fans any day.” Louis tells him.

“Lou..” Harry starts.

“You know I’m right, H”

“Well, yeah, I’d pick you over fans too, but we’re not gonna be allowed to come out any time soon.”

“God, you know I’m sick of everyone saying that, I’m not some caged animal in a zoo. I can make my own decisions and I choose you. That’s my new years resolution.” Louis says, a smile spreading on his face. “I love you and I’m ready to show everyone that.” He says reaching up to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck.

Harry wraps his arms around Louis waist as Louis rests his head on Harry’s shoulder. They stay like that for a while, not wanting to let go and lose the warmth of each other. After all, that’s what they’ve been doing their entire career; constantly having to let go and lose the warmth of each other to satisfy the minds of everyone too close minded to realize that it doesn’t matter who the warmth is coming from, as long as it’s there.

“Okay,” Harry finally says, a weight lifted off his shoulders, “lets do it.” Now they’re both smiling so wide their eyes are crinkling and Harry’s dimples are so deep you could fill them with water. They’re both so overwhelmed they have tears in their eyes and aren’t even sure whether they’re tears of joy or fear.

“Do you mean it? I mean, we’re talking about the same thing, right? Like you’re not just talking about something completely different? Because I love you _so_ much and I just finally want people to know and-“

“Lou,” Harry says smiling,”babe, yes. I’m ready. I’m _so_ ready.” He breathes.

“How are we gonna do it though? I don’t want to just walk in front of a bunch of strangers and just announce ‘oh hey everybody, in case you didn’t know, me and Louis are in love, no biggie.’ I want it to be special, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know. Let’s just get out of here and head home. Paps will probably see us, take some pictures and it’ll be kind of an intro to what’s coming, yeah? Plus fans are gonna go crazy.” Louis laughs and Harry joins in.

“Alright, yeah, let’s go. Gosh, this is crazy I don’t even know what to do with myself I’m so…oh my gosh?” Harry says flustered and finally ends up reaching down and kissing Louis, something they haven’t done in public like ever. It’s a really huge milestone for them because anybody could walk out of the back door at any moment and catch them, but they don’t care. Their days of hiding are finally over and their kiss reveals how happy they are that everyone will finally see that.

“Alright,” Louis starts, grabbing Harry’s hand and starts leading him inside and through the house so they can go home, ”are you driving or am I?”

“Well, I am a better driver.” Harry teases, squeezing Louis hand.

“You fucking wish, H.” Louis laughs, noticing the fact that few people are even looking in their direction. Most are too drunk to notice them and the others are looking for their dates as the clock strikes closer to midnight.

They reach their car and get in in hysterics that they are finally doing this despite the fact that everyone they know is so against it.

Logically, it's really not surprising that Harry and Louis were the victims of such an unlucky accident. Harry only wishes that he hadn’t looked over Louis at that exact moment because as soon as he does a drunk driver decides to keep driving on a red light and crashes into the passenger’s side of the car.

It takes less than five seconds for Harry and Louis to have their new life instantly taken away from them by somebody so careless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked this chapter!! Sorry it was so short, but comment any ideas or suggestions if you have them and give me a kudos if you think I should keep writing, thanks!


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy to see that so many people liked the first chapter, hope you like this one too! I made this chapter longer than the first. Also, I just want to apologize for the sadness in this chapter and the chapters to come.

Harry can hear sirens and see the lights surrounding him, but it's like a broken record playing from another room. He lays there with his head against the headrest and the only thing he can hear besides the sirens is his mind, chanting," _Louis. Louis. Louis._ " He wants to reach for Louis and make sure he's okay, but his body is in sort of a tranquilized state and he can see everything that's happening, but he feels like there's a glass wall separating him and the scene.

He can see Louis practically out of his seat, the passenger door smashed in so far Louis' entire torso is on the dashboard of the car. Louis' face is calm, his eyes closed. There are cuts all along the side of his face and blood seeping through his hair and dripping down his temple.

Harry's head is pounding so hard he can't figure out how to move his body. He can feel blood running down his face, but his arms won't reach up to wipe it.

There are voices around the car speaking in rushed, demanding tones. Harry can't make out what they're saying before his eyes fall closed and he loses sight of Louis.

When Harry wakes up he's in a hospital bed. He's surrounded by flowers and balloons, bringing color to the basic, all white room. There's a stinging pain in his left leg and the pain gets a million times worse when he tries to move it to get off the bed. He groans and lays his head back when he hears someone clear their throat.

"Finally you're awake," Niall sighs. "How're ya feeling?"

"Where are we? What happened?" Harry asks.

"You and Louis were in an accident last night." Niall tells him, sitting down on Harry's bed.

"Where's Louis? Is he okay?" Harry frantically asks, quickly sitting up in his bed.

"Woah, calm down. Doctor said you fractured your leg. You're gonna have to rest awhile or it'll heal wrong and you'll walk with a limp or something. I'm not really sure the doctor was talking really fast and using all kinds of big doctor words it was hard to follow along, to be honest."

"I don't care, Niall. Where's Louis? Is he hurt? When can I see him?"

"Don't worry, last I heard from Liam he said they were just stitching up his head from where the car door hit his forehead."

"When was that?"

"Dunno, like a few hours ago. Liam told me to stay here with you and my phone died so I haven't been able to ask him for any updates."

Harry sighs and throws his head back on the pillow, frustrated with not getting to see how Louis was doing.

"Look, Niall, can't you just go to his room and check on him for me? I'm gonna die here not knowing, please. I love him so much I couldn't handle if something happened to him." Harry pleads.

Niall's eyes soften and he replies,"Alright, mate. I'll see what's happening. I'll try to get back as soon as I can." Niall stands and starts walking to the door then turns around and adds,"And I know how much you love him, mate, but please don't stress I'm sure he's fine." With that he walks out of the room and Harry is left alone with his thoughts.

After all these years with Louis it's hard for Harry to remember what life was like without him and even harder to think about what it would be like without him. He knows he's probably just over thinking it, but he knows Niall isn't good at handling situations like this which is why it's possible Liam didn't tell him the truth. With all the thoughts swirling through his brain and the tightness in his chest from all the worrying Harry can barely feel the pain in his leg.

As Harry looks around the room he notices his journal on a table near his bed. It looks damaged and Harry realized he must have had it next to him when he was driving. He always keeps it with him in his car in case he becomes inspired by anything or _anyone_ , which in his case is Louis.

He's always kept pictures of the two of them in his journal to look at when they're separated. He takes them out and looks at them with tears welling in his eyes. There are a variety of pictures ranging from when they first met at The Script concert to pictures of Louis at his charity match and Harry wearing the team's mascot costume. He remembers what happened before each picture and how happy he was in all of them. He's wiping his eyes when there's a soft knock on the door and Niall and Liam come in.

"Hey, Harry." Liam says. "How are you doing?" He asks, looking tense and nervous. Him and Niall have soft looks on their faces and are standing awkwardly. They're nervously playing with their hands and avoiding eye contact with Harry.

"M'fine. How's Louis?" Harry asks, sitting up. Liam and Niall approach his bed and awkwardly shift their stance, looks of sadness in their faces.

“Harry,” Liam starts,”Louis just woke up from surgery and-“

“Surgery?” Harry interrupts.”Niall said all he and to get was stitches, what do you mean he had to have surgery, what happened?”

“Well, uh, there was some brain trauma the doctors didn’t see at first, so they rushed him into surgery a few hours ago and he’s just gotten out. He’s alive and well, but, uh,” He breathes out,"he doesn’t remember anything Harry. He doesn’t know his name or his mum or any of us.. or you. I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry can’t breathe. He feels like somebody just kicked him in the stomach and he can’t move. His entire body is cold and he can’t feel his fingers. He feels so lightheaded, but finds the energy to ask,”What do you mean he doesn’t remember? He has to. We were going to- I just, he has to Liam.” Harry starts to cry, so Niall holds him and lets him cry into his shoulder.

“The doctors say it might not be permanent.” Liam tells him, but it doesn’t stop the pain Harry is feeling. Everything him and Louis had planned, everyone they were going to tell is all just gone.

“There’s something else, H.” Niall finally says.

“I don’t think we should tell him yet, Niall” Liam suggests.

“Tell me what?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t think this can get any worse, lads, just tell me.”

Niall and Liam look at each other contemplating before Liam nods for Niall to go on. “Well,” Niall starts. “management decided that because Louis won’t remember anything, it’s best that you cut off your relationship with Louis and we all tell him he’s dating Eleanor.”

“No.” Harry says, raising his voice. “No, they can’t make us. No way, I love Lou too much to just act like we never happened. They can’t make me.”

“I’m sorry, Harry. I know it’s going to be so hard, but we have to. If we don’t, we’ll be breaking our contract and they’ll sue us for everything. Just hang in there and you never know, the doctor’s said it might not be permanent.” Liam explains.

“Yeah, but what if it is? I can’t just sit around and wait for him to remember me.”

“Please, Harry, just go with it. You’ll still be able to be around him, you just can’t tell him you were ever together.”

“You don’t get it, Liam. We weren't just 'together,' we've been engaged for two years. I can’t just be with him and not _be_  with him.” Harry says, getting angry. 

There's an awkward silence in the air before Niall speaks up,“So then just make him want to be with you.”

 “What?” Liam and Harry both ask.

“Look, they said you can’t tell Louis you were together, right? So just make him fall in love with you again. Ya did it once, who’s to say ya can’t do it again?” Niall tells Harry and Liam excitedly.“I mean, Louis isn’t straight, we all know that, so he’s obviously not going to like Eleanor. All you have to do is wait until he realizes it. It’ll be just like back at X-factor, yeah?”

“I mean…” Liam starts.

“I think it could work.” Harry says, beginning to cheer up.”That’s like the perfect loophole. Once we’re together again, we can just come out like we were planning to right before the accident.”

“You were planning to come out?” Niall asks, shocked.

“Yeah, that’s why we left the party in the first place. We were going to make a big announcement, but we weren’t sure how yet, maybe by twitcam or something.”

“Wow. I’m really happy for you guys, I just wish you would’ve been able to do it ya know? Now you’ll have to wait even longer.” Niall tells him.

“Do you want to go see him though?” Liam asks. “I’m pretty sure the only thing really damaged was your leg, so you could use crutches or a wheelchair.”

“Alright.” Harry says after a while of contemplating, pushing the call button on his hospital bed. He knows it will hurt a lot to see Louis, but he has to do it eventually, might as well be now. The nurse comes in pretty quickly probably assuming he was in pain and he asks her for crutches. She tells him she needs to check with the doctor first, but that she’ll be back soon.

As they’re waiting, Liam tells Harry, “Louis has a lot of cuts and scratches on his face and arms, so try not to stare or draw attention to them. You don’t want your first impression to be a bad one.”

“I don’t care how he looks, Liam, really?"

“Okay, okay, sorry just wanted to tell you.” Liam says as the nurse comes back into the room with the crutches.

“The doctor said it’s fine that you walk around with these, but still be careful and make sure you don’t apply any pressure to it whatsoever. You still have a pretty big injury.” She tells him and leaves, not waiting for a reply.

“Wow thanks, good talk, good talk.” Niall says jokingly, sliding off the bed and clapping his hands together. “Well let’s get moving then. The sooner he sees you, the sooner he falls in love with you and the sooner you two can have curly haired babies that make bad knock knock jokes.” Harry and Liam laugh as Niall and Liam help Harry out of bed. They put an arm over each of their shoulders and help him stand on his right leg to start using his crutches.

They make their way out of the room and down the hallway to the elevator. Louis is in the ICU, which makes Harry really nervous, but Liam tells him not to worry because they were planning on moving him to a different floor tonight. This doesn’t calm Harry’s thoughts, especially not as they near closer to Louis’ room. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say to him. What are you supposed to say to someone who doesn’t remember you’re in love? What are you supposed to say to someone you can’t tell them you were ever in love in the first place?

They finally get to Louis’ room and Harry can hear his heart beating in his ears. His palms are sweaty and is he wearing shoes? He doesn’t know because he can’t feel his feet and his thoughts are making the room spin. He takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but it proves unhelpful as soon as he looks at Louis.

He can see his hair perfectly swept over his forehead and even with cuts and bruises he still looks perfect to Harry. He looks small and delicate like he could break if anyone touched him. He’s talking to someone, Harry doesn’t know who because he can’t bear to take his eyes off Louis for even a split second.

“Hi, Louis,” Liam says, interrupting Harry’s thoughts and bringing him back to reality.

“Hi…Liam, is it?” Louis asks, a soft, unknowing look on his face. Liam nods, so Louis continues, “And Niall, right?”

Niall gives a small wave and adds, “That’s Sir Niall, thank you very much.” Louis doesn’t get it, but gives a small smile when he sees Liam laugh.

“Sorry, love, I didn’t get your name.” Louis tells Harry. He doesn't know what to do and is left with his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. He can't take it anymore and just loses it. How can someone you've been with for over four years just forget about you? How can he look in your eyes and look like he's looking at glass eyes?

Harry gets out of the room as fast as he can, being on crutches and all, and looks for somewhere to be alone. He finds the stairway and quickly enters it before anyone can get to him.

Once he’s in the stairway he completely breaks down. He sinks to the ground and cries. He doesn’t know how long he does this before someone finds him, but he knows it isn’t long enough. He doesn’t know why he ever agreed to hiding from Louis when he can’t even stand just being in the same room with him without breaking down.

As Liam walks him back to his room he wonders how he’s going to be just friends with Louis and if he’s going to be able to bear to see him again at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter, thanks for reading!! Also, I hope you didn't take Niall as being insensitive. He was really just the best character to use for comic relief, sorry.
> 
> P.S. You can follow me on instagram @heresforthedirectioners_ if you want to bug me about updates


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long since I updated this story, sorry! This is longer than the last chapters to make up for it. Also, there isn't really much of Louis' character in this, but I'm building up to it I promise.

It's been three days since Harry visited Louis. Ever since Liam found him in the stairwell and drove him home, he hasn't left his bed. He's been sulking to say the least, with Netflix and all. He's been trying everything to keep his mind off the situation as much as possible, but everything reminds him of Louis. 

Keeping his mind off Louis is beginning to be the hardest thing Harry's ever had to do. It's not as if Harry can just go see Louis because for one, nobody's told him where he "lives" now because Louis lived with him before. And two, that would mean he'd actually have to face the fact that Louis is gone and he can't do that.

Liam, Niall and Zayn have called Harry so many times he's lost count. They've even stopped by a few times, but Harry hasn't found it in him to answer the door. Maybe Harry is being dramatic, but it's hard to readjust your entire life when his life was Louis. It's like he's lost all his limbs during a race, but is still being forced to run. 

He's been trying to talk himself into going back on the grid, but it hasn't proved to be successful. That's what he's been doing for the past hour. He's laying on his bed with his head in the middle and his feet raised up onto the wall.  

Harry usually isn't a coward. Not for this long, anyway. It's not that he's scared of Louis, just of starting over like they've never even met. He's scared of knowing more than Louis and feeling like a stranger to Louis when they're each other's homes and have been for years.

He leaves his bed to try and think about something, anything other than Louis. He knows he should probably let somebody know that he's okay after dropping off the face of the earth for the past few days. He calls his family and gives them a brief summary of the accident, mainly because they've probably seen it all over the news and because Harry still can't really bring himself to admit what happened. He assures them he's fine and promises to visit them as soon as he's well enough and hangs up. He types up a quick tweet to the fans, thanking them for all the well wishes and promising to get well soon. 

After getting through everyone else he knows he can't avoid it any longer and calls Liam. He answers almost immediately with,"Harry, where have you been?"

"You know I haven't left home, Liam." Harry replies, sullenly. 

"Harry, you know that's not what I meant.. How are you though?..really."

"The best I can be doing, I guess." He sighs. "I can't really think straight."

"You should probably get out of the house, have some company. You'll just end up thinking too much holed up in your flat like that." Liam suggests.

"I don't know if I'm ready yet, Li."

"It's been a week, Harry. I don't want to rush you, but I feel like it would be best."

"Could I go over yours?" Harry asks after a few moments hesitation. "I'm not ready to go out in public"

"Sure, I'll call over Niall and Zayn. Have you eaten today?" Liam asks.

Harry tells him he hasn't and Liam promises to order in his favorite while he drives over. Harry doesn't get dressed beside putting on a sweater and leaves the house without fixing his hair, making him look like he's been laying in bed for a week which isn't completely wrong. He doesn't realize what he's doing until he's seated in the driver's seat. His hands are shaking terribly and he can't will himself to start the engine, scared of the ongoing replay of the crash going through his head. He's tried to push the images of the accident to the back of his mind, but all he can see is blood on the dashboard and red lights flashing everywhere. His hands are shaking uncontrollably and he feels so vulnerable to the sharp images that are piercing his mind like knives. He can't drive yet, if ever again. He thinks the way the steering wheel feels under his fingers will always trigger the return of the way he felt that night.

Struggling to get his phone out he calls the first person he can think to call, Liam. His hands are shaking so much he is surprised he is even able to make the phone call. Liam answers quickly, with worry on his tongue. "Hello? Is everything okay, Harry?"

"Uh, I don't.. I can't do this. The wheel it, I don't want to keep seeing this, Liam. I just.." Harry is crying now, not able to form his thoughts into words. 

"Harry, please, just try to calm down" Liam tells him. "Stay where you are. I'll send someone to pick you up. You don't have to do this yet Harry, it's not your fault."

Harry can barely mutter an "okay" before he hangs up and tries to regulate his breathing before he passes out. He stays seated in the drivers seat, unable to will himself to move inside while he waits. It feels like hours before Niall pulls up and is at his door guiding him out. "Don't worry, mate, I've got you." He tells him. He guides him to the car and puts him in, carefully. Once Harry's in the car Niall gets in the driver's seat and puts on his seatbelt. 

"You alright?" Niall asks him. "I promise I'll drive slow and follow every law there is. It won't happen again, Harry. You don't have to live in fear." 

Harry has calmed down enough to where most of his body isn't shaking anymore and he thanks Niall, mostly for promising to go slow, but also for giving him hope that maybe someday he will be able shut his eyes without seeing the accident.

They arrive at Liam's house quick enough that Harry doesn't get too overpowered by his feelings before they're inside. Harry still feels numb, even around the people who used to make him feel like he was floating. Zayn isn't there yet, but Liam is sitting on the couch when Niall and Harry walk in. 

"Hey, you're here. How are you feeling?" Liam asks Harry, getting off the couch and making his way to the front door.

"Okay" Harry replies. "What did you order?" Harry asks, looking over at the paper bags on the counter.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I bought practically everything from that Italian shop a few blocks down. There's sandwiches, salad, pasta, and a few slices of pizza." Liam tells Niall and Harry, pulling the items out of the bag.

"Dibs on the pizza." Niall says walking over, grabbing a plate, and going over to the couch.

"Thanks Liam." Harry says. He grabs a plate and serves himself salad and a small portion of pasta then makes his way to the couch followed by Liam.

"Zayn should be on his way." Liam tells them, turning on the TV. "I haven't talked to him since this morning, but he said he was coming over." Liam flicks through the channels and settles on "Impractical Jokers," hoping to lighten the mood a bit. Harry appreciates this because he hasn't been able to properly relax since the accident and right now he feels like he might just be able to forget for a little while. He feels at home with his best friends laughing and allowing him to finally breathe and give his mind a break. 

They sit in comfortable silence, safe for the laughs at the TV, for about thirty minutes before Zayn arrives. He knocks on the door and Liam and Niall jump up and race to the door. Harry hears them both excitedly greeting Zayn, then suddenly lowering their voices. Harry doesn't start getting too anxious until Liam rushes in and begins spurting out apologies.

"Slow down, Liam." Harry tells him as his heart begins racing.

"Don't be mad, Harry, please. I didn't know he was bringing him. He didn't tell me, please just try to stay calm. I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about, Liam?" Harry asks him. His heart is beating fast now and he can't really get his thoughts together as Liam tries to explain to him that he had nothing to do with what is happening. 

"I know you're not ready, Harry. I'm sorry. You can go hang out in my room until he leaves if you want." Harry is still trying to figure out what he's talking about when he looks up and puts the pieces together. Louis is standing in the doorway wearing the jacket he bought him for his birthday.

"Li..." Harry breathes. He sees Louis standing there, completely oblivious to who he is and what they were, and Harry thinks that's what hurts the most. Here he is, knowing everything they've shared and everything about Louis when he sees him as a complete stranger.

"Hi, Liam and... Harry right?" Louis perks up, chuckling. "Last time I met you, you ran out on me." He smirks. Harry can't bring himself to reply, instead focusing on the shaking of his hands and the way Louis' face looks in this lighting. 

Zayn, Niall, and Louis move to the couch and try to make conversation. They talk casually, never straying from easy topics that easily roll off their tongues. They answer Louis' questions about how they met and how they were put together as a band. It's difficult but they manage to avoid Louis and Harry'a relationship, leaving holes in their stories that Louis doesn't notice. They even feed Louis some of the fake stories their management gave them about Eleanor.

Harry leaves the room during these stories. He's currently stalling in the kitchen, washing his plate and thinking about why he's even here. He could leave now, avoid any possibility of him being placed in an awkward position. However, he'd need someone to drive him and that would lead to him being put in an awkward position. Either way, he's basically screwed. 

Zayn walks in and Harry's thoughts are interrupted. He turns around and dries his hand, waiting for Zayn to speak. He's never had the best communication skills, even less after the accident, so he waits.

"Are you okay, mate?" Zayn asks. He has a genuine look of concern on his face, letting Harry know he doesn't mean to hurt him in any way.

Harry simply shrugs at his question, though. Simply because he doesn't know the answer himself. He's asked himself that question every day since the accident, but at this joint he isn't really sure how okay feels. 

"You know I didn't mean to upset you in bringing him, right? I really wasn't planning on it, but he wanted to come. You know how persistent he can be..." 

"I'm not mad," Harry tells him, truthfully. "Was just a little caught off guard is all. I'm not sure how to act around him, I mean we were together for four years and he doesn't even know it."

Zayn looks at his feet, not really sure of how to respond. "I can't pretend I know how you feel. I don't, nobody does, but I can tell you that it will get better. I believe that and I need you to too." He's staring at him intensely now, letting him know that he means what he says. 

"I know it'll get better, Zayn. I just don't really like the idea of sitting here in pain until it does."

"You don't have to. Isn't that the point of this whole thing? Everyone here cares about you, H. We're all going to help you get through this despite how long it takes."

Neither of the two say anything after that, sitting in a comfortable silence until Niall walks in.

"Hey, mate, I'm gonna head out...D'ya want a ride home?" He asks.

"Yeah, thanks." Harry answers him. He gives Zayn a hug and thanks him for everything he told him. Without falter, Zayn tells him he meant every word of it and that he'll always be there when he needed him.

Harry follows Niall out to the living room and hugs Liam goodbye. "Thanks for convincing him to come over, Li."

"Anytime, H." Liam smiles.

"So you're the 'H' in my phone..." Louis speaks up. "We sure did have some pretty weird conversations."

Harry is caught off guard to say the least. He hadn't thought that Louis would look through his old texts or anything. "Oh, uh, I suppose so, yeah."

"We called each other quite a bit too, so we were close I take it?" Louis asks.

"Uh, you could say that." Harry nods, shifting his weight from one foot to another. 

"I'll see you around then, 'H'" Louis chuckles. His laugh sends butterflies straight to Harry's stomach and he stutters.

"Mhm," is what Harry manages and he quickly turns to head toward the door. Niall pats him on the back and walks with him, knowing he's going to need some comforting when they get in the car.

Niall follows the same routine he did when he picked him up from home and slowly helps Harry into the car. Once he's safely in the car Niall goes around to the driver's seat and flips to a radio station he knows Harry will like. "Just breathe, Haz. Everything's going to be okay. I'll go slow like the last time."

"Thank you, Niall." Harry wraps his hands around his seatbelt, trying to make them stop shaking. It proves pointless, but he's relieved that his breathing isn't as terrible as the first time. He's kept his mind away from Louis thus far, but after seeing him again he can't help but let his mind wander to the fact that he's gone. It sounds selfish, but Harry thinks he might have been better off if Louis had died in the crash. Then, Harry would have closure and wouldn't have to feel the pain he does every time someone brings him up, knowing he can't have the same relationship with him that he did. 

They arrive at Harry's house soon enough that his mind doesn't get to dwell too much on what he lost. Once they're there Niall walks him inside and makes sure he's okay before he leaves. 

"Thank you, Niall, again." Harry replies shakily. "You made it a lot easier." 

"You know I'm always here for you, mate. Anything you need, just let me know. I'm always just a phone call away." Niall tells him.

Harry nods and Niall tells him goodbye. He's gone as soon as he came in and Harry is left with his thoughts again. 

He makes himself a cup of tea and sits down with Neflix on. The only thing occupying his mind is Louis and he falls asleep to the thought of him and a pain in his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Leave a comment to let me know what you thought.


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